His Butler: Shattered
by Lileth Nightengale
Summary: You never know what you have, until it is gone... Warnings: Suicide, and Depression


_**His Butler: Shattered**_

_(AKA: Why I'm never rewatching the ending of season 1 in a bout of depression again.)_

I can remember it clearly, like the first sharp sting of a leather whip. The feeling of your death had been far more unpleasant for me, than it had been for you.

I can remember the way you looked at me that day, with eyes that shined with acceptance and a light hint of fear. I can remember the sound of your breathing and heartbeat picking up as I approached you with glowing, demonic eyes. We both knew what was about to happen.

"Will it hurt?", you ask with what is left of your childish innocence.

I do not lie to you.

"It will a bit, but I will endeavor to be gentle-", you cut me off.

"Don't, be as brutal as you want to be. Make it hurt. Carve the pain of my life into my soul.", you mutter quietly, emotionlessly.

A grin stretches across my face and I respond the same way I have for the past three years.

"Yes, my Lord."

I stepped forward toward you, watching you to see if you would try run or drop to your knees to beg for your life at the last second, like so many of those before you had. No, the only thing you move are your eyelids, closing them for the last time.

I briefly hesitate; my mind kept pulling me away, telling me to stop, to not kill you. I didn't listen to it.

I lean down over you and hover my mouth just over yours, unaware of what I was about to do. I suck down your delectable soul, sweet and bitter at the same time. It was in that moment that I realized my mistake; one that I couldn't clean up, one that I would never cease to regret.

You see, my lord, demons live very lonely, solitary lives, and our only joys come from consuming and destroying. But, there is one this we all look forward to. Our life mates, a creature who was created especially for us, to complete us for the rest of our eternal lives.

What a fool I have been, spending all of that time with you my beloved, and not savoring a second. All I cared about was ravaging my next meal. I hardly even took time to enjoy that.

As the life faded from your body, I realized what I had done, and consequently, began to tear myself apart.

**XxxxxxxxxxxxxX**

It's almost been one hundred years since your passing, my love, and I have yet to get over it. As the years have ticked by, I have yet to get over you; to get over the fact of what I did to you. I have spent my time doing just that, trying to erase the luscious taste of your soul from my tongue; to cleanse my palate of your exquisite flavor.

The quality of souls has lowered dramatically since we shared a contract, my lord. Nothing could or will ever be able to compare to you.

The television flickers before me as I wallow in self pity, if only you could see me now.

I've become pathetic without you.

I haven't washed in quite some time, and my body has the odor of the dried blood. It's crusty, and at least three months old by now. It's beginning to smell horrendous at this point.

My line of sight drifts over to a bloodied artifact that lays almost innocently on the flimsy wooden table before me. A long, twisted sword glows a sickly, acid green in the near blackness, reflecting in my now dull brick colored eyes.

This odd piece of weaponry came into my possession when I had a rather..._violent... _encounter with a she-demon recently, and imagine my surprise when I buried my fist in her stomach to find the answer to my sorrow. And to think that all I was trying to do was release a little stress.

The Lævateinn, it was called.

So here I am, alone in a one room apartment with nothing but my own depressed mind and the smell of the long aged cocaine and piss that had been left by the previous owners to keep me company.

I've had a lot of time to think about this, and finally I've come to a decision.

With a determined look in my eye, I grabbed the filthy handle of the demon sword.

I wish we would have had the opportunity we deserved to be together. Perhaps I could have made you happy again.

Can you imagine it, young master? Finally being free of the burden of your revenge that weighed down your mind, free to live out the rest of your days bound to a creature who's was sworn to protect you eternally.

After so much time, I realize that I would have been happy being just that, nothing more than a butler.

I brought the blade closer to my body; I stopped to think about how I wanted to do this. After taking a moment to think, I chose my heart. It was almost poetic in my point of view.

As the cool metal of the sword begins to penetrate my chest, I ponder what will happen after my death. Neither you nor I belong in Heaven, however you don't belong in Hell either.

Perhaps fate will have mercy on us, and let us sleep eternally with each other, coiled around one another as we drift through an endless void until the end of time.

Dark crimson blood stains my already soiled shirt as the blade pierces me. A smile grows on my face as blood begins to drip from the orifice.

My lifeless body falls to the stained carpeted floor with a dull thud, signaling the end of my life. My inhuman heart ceases pulses for the last time, and the last thought that runs through my head, is that hopefully, just maybe I will see my lord again.

For you see, I am, and forever shall be...

_**One Hell of a Butler.**_


End file.
